“WHEN IT HURTS SO BAD”
Sometimes, it feels so good. I did a lot of wrong during my time away from you in here, and I don’t regret any of it. For better or worse, I’m ready to talk about it. Life has been a lot, friends! After 18 months, most people would've given up, but they not like us! As always, I hope you are inspired to be your best and love you more. And honestly, we have learned so much. Let’s get into it!
I’m going cut right to the chases because, unfortunately, I’m not popping in to say I am rejuvenated, and also, I don’t have the capacity to steer around your feelings - not on this round, maybe next time. On top of that, I have the nerve to show up here again like I haven’t missed 78 weeks of breakfast, lunch, and dinners with my tribe, so I feel like nicety is out of the window.
The hard part—the part where I’d like your help—is that I still want to be heard and seen. Even though it may not be your fault, a big part of my cutting up was due to being/feeling unseen or unheard.
But I’m NOT placing blame. I’m coming clean to say I realize now that I should’ve been hanging with you all along. YOU: whoever is still reading.
Millions of people give up every day due to stress and compounded issues going unaddressed, and often, the individual has tried to say something, but no one listens. However, I am the one who listens. Except not to myself. Well, not before (new mind, new me). See, I was so busy being available to help everyone who came to me that I got caught up in trying to be what everyone wanted or needed of me. And what I really should’ve been was FREE.
When I first started this newsletter, it was to be an ongoing conversation we could have about all the beautiful things we enjoy along the healing and success trails. But then I went and forgot to keep enjoying stuff. YES! I’ve been doing stuff, but here are a few confessions:
Some of this stuff was misuse of my damn time
I was in my own way, nobody else
Failure and experience give me clarity
So let’s get into the tea of why I’m here: giving up and shutting down crossed my mind, but it didn’t sit right with my spirit. I mean, after all, I DO still run a business - just not a website, a tribe, ya know, a foundation. Because I have spent so much time running these business streets (physically & metaphorically), I haven’t had time to ENJOY the building phases and milestones of my business or life. I have run from goal to goal, carrying the torch of overcoming being the bitter black woman and the hurt black woman, so much so that I almost missed the opportunity to be free to be the good-hearted human and the successful person I am. It wasn’t others’ perceptions or possessions; it was my misguided judgment about what it means for me to reach the pinnacles of success or have the fullness of life I imagined. It was living in the miseducation of social and societal constructs we all know exist. And I’ve spent enough time, money, and tears to be TIRED.
But since I liked to learn the hard way, I had to endure some tough losses and failures. I’m going to share them now so I can be free of them—if it helps you, too, that’s a bonus.
Time is Exponentially greater Than Money
“If I knew then what I know now” is a life lesson that costs valuable time. I have used up a lot of time worrying about the wrong things, taking safe chances that cost more than just taking a smart risk, and being more invested in others’ outcomes than they have for themselves. And while I know some of it was from a place of being selfless, some of it was from choosing to stay foolish enough to try to run from fear instead of running into it.
Which leads me to my next failure/confession.
Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained
And sometimes, nothing looks like something. I knew better lots of times when making decisions out of fear, yet I chose the least scary route. Delayed pain is not satisfaction; I want what I want, and now I am finally willing to go through the hard parts/pain to get it.
I am willing to give up some things to get it. This is why the podcast is being sunset for good—the episodes are all still there—and I will be moving on to other media projects like this newsletter we are building.
And this takes time, but more so, it requires effort-focused effort.
You Can Have it All & Be It All but NEVER All at Once
I got dreams, y’all! Big dreams, LOL, and all jokes aside, I truly believe they have a purpose. My job is to balance my potential with my progress in my zeal to bring things to fruition. My problem is I want to hit the ground running and perfect things rapidly to accomplish all the big things on my list. But that’s not realistic, and it is draining. It is also a sign that those goals are tied to societal constructs instead of freely flowing and growing into what they are meant to become. I love this new wave of letting things be and giving myself the grace to be present but not perfect. I am also learning to embrace my new boundaries and truths regarding what I want out of life, how I choose to show up, and my priorities. And that means some things have to take a back seat, some things have to shift, and others have to step to the front.
All Money Ain’t Good Money
A year ago, all I wanted was to perfect the business, the poetry, and the coaching. Now, all I want is to be appropriately valued for my unique advantages. I spent a lot of time intimidated by numbers: views, shares, dollars, and followers are all great for tracking but not measuring your impact. Now, I have some great business relationships, and we definitely know money matters. But I was so busy being shamed of having a 5-figure company that I didn’t appreciate the fact that I have one. With this healthier approach to business revenue and marketing, I feel free to focus on what matters most: showing up for my business and my tribe in ways that feed us both consistently.
Look, I could go on and on but I won’t right now. The point is i have lost deals, sleep, time, and money working through life while also learning to enhance my CEO mindset. It has hurt a lot, but it has also felt good. I got to step into different environments, learn from experienced business owners, learn from ignoring my intuition, and really have those hard talks with myself. I also let go of projects, procrastinated on content/collabs, got sidetracked with too many projects, and ran from you all out of fear of failure/letting people down.
But here’s what I also did:
I learned a lot
I got happy with my progress
I found my freedom in my growth
I let go of some people, places, and things that no longer serve me.
I dropped some projects and am revamping others
I KEPT WORKING, GROWING, GOING, & GLOWING!!
I encourage you to check out some of the things we have ben doing while I have been away from you all in this space. YES! I have hurt a lot and I also enjoyed the process even when I didn’t realize it. I also let go and lost and to be honest those things brought relief. It has been a journey; I have been very intrigued and inspired by the people I have met. I am sure you will be too!
TEA WITH TRI! REAL PEOPLE, REAL STORIES.
Sit down with Edi Callier, a national rising star, to share his side of the story and tell what it's really like competing for stardom, his views/experiences on reality TV & how he has been vetted in the music industry by a famous veteran - all on this episode of Tea with Tri: Sing Your Heart Out!
Follow Edi Callier: #edination / @edicallier
SHUT UP & LISTEN !
SUAL is about grown folks talking & taking action. We create safe spaces (digitally & in person ) to address current events and relevant topics with communities all over the world.
Get ready to "SHUT UP & LISTEN!" with us. Catch a live show: You'll have drinks/music, engage the panel Q&A, share your POV, and enjoy the captivating vibes!
We’re Growing a Bookshelf / Book Club! Follow us on all social to talk books, shop new authors, and send us your faves. This month we are featuring first time author Tamara Morgan of California. Check out her book featured in this newsletter.
“Every shut eye ain’t sleep, every goodbye ain’t gone and what’s done in the dark always comes to light.”
The Backstory:
Karina can’t ignore the nagging fear that her grandmother’s last words will prove prophetic. Her worry intensifies when her sister, Candace, shows up to Mama Ella’s homegoing.
The sisters had been inseparable until reckless teenage decisions changed their lives forever, causing them to blame one another for everything that happened. After years of estrangement, their grandmother’s death offers them a chance to lean on one another for solace and support.
Candace and Karina believe the only way they can move forward is to leave the past behind them. But repairing their relationship without sealing its cracked foundation will be tricky, if not impossible especially when the family secrets that caused Candace to run away and Karina to pray that she would never return are unexpectedly revealed.
Will the ties that bind this family be strong enough to withstand the impact of the revelations or should some things done in darkness never see the light of day?
KEEPING IT PHRESH!
Join us this month as we roll out all the new vibes! We will be cutting up with Actor/Super Content Creator PHRESH @everythingphreshceo on social platforms.
As part of us acting brand new we figured the website and the staff need a fresh start, too! Keep an eye out for the next issue, where we spill tea about some dope new collaborations, ways to connect, and what’s in store for 2025. Plus, a little insight into what’s going on in life.
What if I Told You
You woke up today for a reason.
You overcame yesterday to enter this season.
Time passes so quickly and not so fast at all.
Of all those who didn’t make it, there is a reason your number was called.
This world is counting on your smile, joy, and laughs.
This world is a better place because you exist.
There’s only one thing that God asks.
To be you in full force.
It shifts the energy and heals pain.
Your presence motivates others and inspires change.
What if I told you that you make the world a better place by being unapologetically you?
That your footsteps imprinted the pavement with revolution
handled carefully by hands that craft others’ awakenings
while tracing bold outline with broken crayons that still color
Because black faded to dark but never cracks.
Until it collapsed,
All the dimness around you to allow you to shine - shine on all of them.
If you felt the rays of your own light would you believe me then?
Would you reconsider you then?
Be brave enough to be you then?
If I promised you nothing in exchange for proving you already have it all.
Would you accept the offer and have the gall?
To live like tomorrow is a bet and the end hasn’t happened yet.
Could you pretend just a little to be present on the middle,
a
nd skip the part where you solve the riddle,
just long enough to shout I AM HERE!
And let it out.
All of the amazingly excellent uniquely you things you’ve been keeping locked inside?
What if I told you that I see you.
Would you share all of those beautiful things you hide?
Because right now the world needs all the great ideas you have in mind.
(…bars)
With Love, Light & Gratitude,
Triece / TIL
